Let me just get through this week!

I'm broke. Duh. What else is new? I am still looking for a job. I'm focusing on applying for grad school, but right now I'm waiting to hear back from NYU. I can't even afford to pay the application fees for all these school, so now I have to do it slooooooooowly.

I feel like shit. I feel fat. I don't want to do anything. I'm so exhausted. I just want to be alone.

On a positive note, the beautiful late March sun is in full force! That makes me happy. I can't wait for warmer weather. :)

That's all for now. Have a good day.

South Beach Diet

I did the South Beach diet when I was 19 and didn't really lose any weight, but I burned belly fat. It was awesome. I also lost 13 pounds doing Weight Watchers almost two years ago, but I've somehow gained it back.

I got in awesome shape by working out at the gym I no longer can afford. Also, it's like 20 minutes away and that was annoying. I miss going to a gym.

Basically, I'm at a lost. WHat should I do to lose this extra weight? I wanna lose 20 pounds in 3 months.

Not feeling well.

Been fighting the flu (or what I hope is the flu) for a few days. I feel shitty. Also, my period is late. Shit. We'll see what's going on. I mean, what if I do get pregnant? What if I AM pregnant? Women do this every day. Teenagers do this and they survive. There's so much I wanna do with my life and a kid would make it harder. But I vow to be the type of mom who never gives up on her dreams and takes her kid along for the ride.

That being said, I also hate scales. I hate weighing myself. I wish I could eat whatever I wanted and exercised healthily without making thing so difficult.

Blah.

It seems that every March/April I start to think about how much I weigh again. I got on a scale and it was considerably more than I thought. Especially since I've been cutting back on food a lot in the past two months or so. I haven't been working out as regularly, so maybe that's why the scale isn't making me super happy right now. Whatever!

I love spring. I love that it's getting warmer and the days are longer. It makes me happy.

Also, I want to stop writing for Suite101. I don't really enjoy it. I just like having my name out there and being able to say, "I write for a website." Lame, I know.

I have nothing more to report. I'm going to watch tv and lie down for a bit before going for a run.

Peace out.