Thursday, September 27, 2007

Trés Belle Girl of the Week

I've known Kelly since high school and she was one of the reasons I found it bearable . . .same deal with college. We have so much fun together discussing life, love and celebrities. I love her because she has a KILLER sense of humor, not to mention awesome advice. Here's Kelly . . .

Kelly with her awesome boyfriend, Paul.

Name: Kelly

Age: 23

Where's your favorite place to be? On the couch snuggling with jazz, watching Law and Order SVU, eating hersheys kisses.

What do you think is beautiful? When you are little and its Christmas morning

Are you living your dream? If so, how? If not, what are you doing to reach it? Not right now...The only part of my dream thats true are the people in my life and my boyfriend. Job = Hell no. Im trying to reach my dream by really thinking about what makes me happy, and making an effort to do something positive for my future

If money wasn't an issue, how would you live your life? I wouldnt be working thats for damn sure...well, thats not true, I just wouldnt be working for money. I think I would take the time to find out what I really want to do...of course travel...and I would do something like train to climb Mt. Everest or train 24/7 to go to the olympics for an obscure curling.

Describe your favorite outfit? Maryland hoodie and sweatpants

What's your favorite word? ENZYME

What makes you unique? I like my sense of humor

What's your drink of choice? Petron!!!!!!

What are your three favorite albums?
1) Thursday - Understanding in a car crash...the only CD I've worn out
by playing it too much
2) The Coors- Talk on Corners
3) A mix CD of the Beatles, the Police, and Deja Entendu by Brand New

If you could give the 13-year-old you any advice whatsoever, what would it be? None of the shit you're dealing with now will matter in 5 yrs, and everyone but 5-10 people you meet in high school are idiots.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Annabelle Blue's WTF?

WTF @ Men + Relationships?!?!

Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend about men (boys?) in relationships. Duh, what else is new? Basically, we have decided boys are lazy and don't like to work for things. They'd rather stick with someone or something that isn't working and have a girl on the side . . .if it's comfortable. As soon as one girl starts to pressure him and make things uncomfortable by issuing an ultimatum, he freaks out. Usually he breaks things off with the girl on the side because it's just easier that way. My friend is currently in that situation . . .

Are men really that afraid of being alone? Are they that insecure? Or does it really just come down to getting sex as easily as possible?

I don't know, but I've found myself in the position as "girl on the side" a couple of times, and let me tell you, it's lonely and very frustrating. Is it really that hard for men to just follow their hearts? Maybe the guy just isn't that into her (or me or you), but it makes no excuse for someone to stick with someone just because they're comfortable and convenient. By that logic, I'd be sticking at my job. But I like to take chances. I like happiness. You only get one shot at life. Don't eff it up.

What do you think?

* * *

I would love for Annabelle Blue to be more interactive. In order for this to become more of a conversation, I'd like you guys to give me feedback on this or anything else you read on my blog. Please feel free to leave comments by clicking on the "leave comment" link at the bottom of each entry.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Annabelle Blue's Faves

FAVE SEASON CHANGE: My favorite transition between the seasons is from summer to fall. I love the crisp air, Halloween, and wearing jeans and sweatshirts. I am craving a pumpkin latte from Starbucks.

Autumn colors, New Hampshire by Jules Cowan
Autumn colors, New Hampshire

Fave Quote of the Moment:"You just know. " It doesn't make sense to expand on this.

That's all for now.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Letter from the Editor

Hi beautiful,

Things are going great with this blog. I'm starting to get more and more personal with it, which wasn't what I had set out to do originally. In fact, I wanted to have as little about myself as possible, but what's the point? This is slowly going away from what I had planned, but that's okay by me. Again, this is a fun little project for me. I'm excited to be writing fairly regularly. I seriously am worried that I keep getting stupider each day by not writing and stretching my mind as much as I used to. While this blog isn't Nobel Prize winning stuff, anything to keep my mind in shape makes me happy.

Oh, and thanks for reading this. I know it's hard to keep up with it everyday, nor do I expect you to, but it means a lot that you even take the time to read it AT ALL . . .whenever that is. I will be updating more often and more in-depth in the coming weeks once I'm finally finished with my full-time job.

Hope your weekend was great. Mine was pretty cool. I accomplished all that I wanted to accomplish. I had horrid cramps Friday and at various points this weekend. It was awful. I'm beginning to think I should see a doctor. My mood swings and severe, nauseating cramps can't be normal. I shouldn't have to suffer through this anymore.

You know what is an amazing album to listen to when you're feeling powerless, shitty, and heartbroken? "Tragic Kingdom" by No Doubt. Takes me back to the tender age of 12 and being in my room pretending I was Gwen Stefani on stage commanding the attention of thousands of people. It's amazing. It makes me think how strong I am without a boy and how I have so much more to offer the world. I'm not the only person to go through a severe heartbreak and to be angry as hell. This is still one of my favorite albums of all time, no matter how much my musical tastes change. I listened to it the other day at the gym when I was tired/depressed and not in the mood to work out. It rejuvenated me.

So, my part-time job at The 9:30 club is going pretty well. Odd hours, humbling, and tiring, but very fun. It's just cool to hang out with people my age (and a little older) and see live shows. It's work, but it's fun. I'm so glad I quit my lame-ass marketing job. This was like a dream and I'm doing it. I'm confident with my decisions.

That's about it for now. I'm going to go read "Atonement", which is a book my dear friend Kelly told me I'd love. (You were so right, Kel. I love it!) See you Tuesday!


Friday, September 21, 2007

Annabelle Blue's FYI

Metaphysics. What does that word arouse in you? Confusion? Annoyance? Fear? Ambivalence? Loneliness?

I realized that I am a devout contemplator of the metaphysical a few months ago while I was on a date. We wandered into the bookstore, as is customary on dates with myself, and in one particular section I rattled off a bunch of books I either owned, read or wanted to read. I glanced at the title of the section we were in and discovered it was the "Metaphysics" section. This is when I realized I was more than a casual peruser of metaphysics.

I've been going through a very troubling phase where I obsess and over analyze the meaning of life, my reality, death, dreams, and time until I give myself a panic attack. It's frightening and it keeps me up at night. This all started right when I came home from NYC last December around Christmastime. NYC has always been my "after" and "eventually," so when it wasn't working out, much to my dismay and reluctance, and I moved back home, I thought- "now what?" In a way, my coming back home broken, beaten and out of ideas was like a death. And ever since then I've been in a certain kind of purgatory.

To be fair, perhaps my purgatory began before NYC. Perhaps my parlay into NYC was a kind of purgatory in it's own right. It was post-college, post-losing close friends, and post-heartbreak. Like any good life that has been lived, love is at the core of my pre-NYC death . . .or perhaps more accurately, a lack thereof.

God(expression, not noun), what is life without love? There's a lyric to a song I know that goes:

"the world is a joke when out of love"

Before, I'd kind of snicker at that lyric because it seemed so ridiculous and amateurish. I thought it was utterly pathetic- there's so much more to life than having a boyfriend. I'd think this to myself while driving my car or sitting in my room listening to said song, trying to fool myself with my cute little feminist naiveté that I affect sometimes amongst friends. Lately, though, I've been coming to understand what the world being a joke when out of love really means. For me personally, it's without the promise of love that I think the world is a joke, not entirely that if you're not in love the world is a joke. Not all that profound, but for me it's a big deal. This isn't about me being in love or having been in love . . . I'm not in love right now. The point is, if it isn't going to happen, then there's no point to my life and I mean that with all my heart. Life would seem to be lonely, cruel . . .and pointless.

I love my family, I love my friends, I love the color blue, I love kids, I love beauty, I love chocolate, I love laying in bed, I love cuddling, I love reading, I love music . . .I love a lot of things, but without that ONE love, I don't know if this (life) makes any sense. I'd hate for my life to be some big lesson of loneliness. It seems unfair and cruel. What happened in my last life to warrant such a thing?

So in thinking about death, God and the meaning of life, the only consoling thought in my head is that I must find the meaning in MY life. I am trying to figure out my next step and where I'm going. I stress myself out over it. I've quit my job. This "quarter-life crisis" that John Mayer warned me about is 8439898498 times worse than I'd ever imagine it could be. I'm kind of embarrassed to really explain it to people because I don't think they'd really understand. It's way too deep to even try to articulate at all.

I still believe NYC is in my future. I don't think I will be content on my deathbed without having lived there while I was young. I also want to be in love, but interestingly, if there is no promise of love in NYC, I don't know if I wanna be there. It is a big, lonely, beautiful city and if I never find a love there, what's the point? It would be far more romantic and safe if I moved there with a love.

Maybe now I get why he wanted to move there with me so badly. With all my heart, no matter what problems or issues he might have had, I just think to myself that I'm the one who fucked it all up. It was bad timing. I wasn't prepared. I wasn't myself. To be honest, I kind of lost it on him one night due to my insane hormonal imbalances (PMDD FOR THE WIN!), which I'm kind of reluctant to admit to myself or anyone else. Nobody likes excuses.

Now I have the feeling that he has moved there with her. So yeah, I'd say I can't blame him, although it hurts terribly. It's not even HIM that makes it hurt. It's what it all symbolizes for me.

So now I find myself lonely and remorseful. What would have happened if we'd have just done it? If I'd have not freaked out or demanded my demands. Compassion is something I pride myself in, but it wears thin after a while. I have doubts about whether it would have worked out in the first place, but I'd probably be happier if we'd have tried. Or maybe I'd be worse off. Who knows. It's all a gamble.

I was so sure and it seems it was all a farce. Life is cruel sometimes, so naturally I find myself wondering about the point of it all. That's when I venture out into the bigger picture and the bigger idea. And that's when I lose myself.

But that night, I found myself in a bookstore. On a date. But we don't talk about metaphysics on our date. We do other things and I distract myself. Because metaphysics isn't the point of a date. Duh, the point of dating, essentially, is to find love. But, in my experience, you don't find love. Love finds you.

But in true Adrienne form, I found metaphysics on a date.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Trés Belle Girl of the Week

This week's girl is my dear friend Sumi. I love her and so will you . . .

Name: Sumi Holman

Age: 23

Where's your favorite place to be? The Beach...or anywhere my family, friends, and boyfriend happen to be:)

What do you think is beautiful? Music

Are you living your dream? If so, how? If not, what are you doing to reach it?
As far as I'm concerned I'm living my dream, which is to be successful and follow my track to grad school so I can be a social worker! I'm definitely living, I travel on a constant basis and I have wonderful friends and family to spend time with!!!

If money weren't an issue, how would you live your life? I would design my dream house top to bottom, have two dogs, travel to all the foreign places I want to go. I would have a second ocean front home at Bethany, beach DE big enough for all my family to visit for free during the summer to continue our beach tradition, I would start my own private domestic violence safe havens for women all over the country

Describe your favorite outfit? Cute black pants and a flashy, sexy top, and heels.

What's your favorite word?

What makes you unique?
how i can relate to others

What's your drink of choice? frozen original margaritas

What are your three favorite albums?
heavier things- john mayer, new maroon five CD, wow too hard to choose a third

If you could give the 13-year-old you any advice whatsoever, what would it be?
you already know the different between right and wrong, so make good choices throughout life.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Annabelle Blue's WTF?

Okay, let's start out on a happy note first:

Yesterday marked the 25th birthday of :-). Read about it here.

Moving on . . .

Okay, there's plenty of fucked up stuff in our world that I could blog about right now. There's the Jena Six story . . . and there's the black woman from West Virginia who was savagely beaten and tortured by six white adults. These stories are not getting a lot of media coverage for debatable reasons. I was advised to put these things on my blog and to talk about them. I truly do think it's important to keep up on these stories and every human being should be angry at injustice everywhere, but what is really making me angry right now are men.

Am I seriously supposed to put up with their insecurities, idiocy, chauvinism and downright rudeness? I'm sorry, but I think I deserve better. Maybe it's because I have three brothers and a family that has instilled a lot of self-worth in me. Maybe it's because I live in a fantasy world where I think people should treat others how they'd like to be treated.

If you talk down to me, make me feel like shit or do something really hurtful to me, don't expect me to stick around or to put up with it.

I may sometimes exhibit low self-esteem, but I have and always will have a lot of self-worth. As a result, I don't put up with the bullshit. It's lonely sometimes, but I will never sellout my own morals and values for some fucking ignorant boy.

Lesbianism is not an option for me for several reasons. Most of the reasons are obvious. So my other options are to put up with it or be alone. Guess which one I'm choosing?

So if this offends you, I'm not sorry. I've just honestly had it. I'm not interested in you . . .or you. I've made it quite clear and if you can't handle rejection properly and only know how to "act out" when faced with it, that sure as hell isn't my problem.

And yes, I'm PMSing, but you're still an ass.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Annabelle Blue's Faves

FAVE GUILTY PLEASURES . . . (Shh! I know you have 'em, too!)

For the most part, I don't watch television. I will put on CNN before I go to sleep or if I wake up in the middle of the night, but to be honest, that's about it. I do like certain television shows, but I don't always know when they're on and most likely I can just watch clips of the show online. The one show I do watch on television and which I enjoy is MTV's "The Hills".

Say what you will about reality television, MTV and Hollywood chicks, but I am eating up all of it. Watch it once and tell me you aren't sucked in and that you don't hate Spencer and Heidi. I watch episodes I miss on the MTV website. So good. But don't, like, tell anyone I recommended it.

Celebrity Blog:
It pains me to admit this, but I really enjoy Rosie Odonnell's blog. Whether it's her 9-11 conspiracy posts, musings on Mother Nature or simply her angry rants against the right-wing media, she never ceases to amuse me at work. I really miss her "JAHERO" video posts while she was on The View. I even asked her a question once on her website and she answered. Now you know how nerdy I truly am. But it's just between me and you.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Letter from the Editor

Hi everyone,

Sorry I've been really bad about updating. Life has been pretty insane for the past week or so. I promise I will get back on track soon. The next two weeks might be a little sporadic though. Quitting your job, starting a low-paying, physically demanding yet oddly fun job all while figuring life out is time-consuming. You should see how messy my room is.

Hope everyone is doing well!


Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Trés Belle Girl of the Week

This week's girl needs no introduction:

Name: Britney Jean Spears, bitch

Age: 25 (Y'all!! I'm gettin old! I'ma be 26 in December, y'all!)

Where's your favorite place to be? Anywhere with my babies . . .or at the club with my girls! Can't wait until my booboos can drink and party!

What do you think is beautiful? Fairies and mermaids.

Are you living your dream? If so, how? If not, what are you doing to reach it? Life IS a dream.

If money weren't an issue, how would you live your life?
Well, y'all, I'ma be honest and say money isn't an issue for me right now. I spend my life playing with my booboos, partying with my girls and occasionally going into the studio to add breathy vocals to mediocre beats.

Describe your favorite outfit? Well . . .

What's your favorite word? Proselytize.

What makes you unique? Helloooooooooo! Who am I? Yes, thank you!

What's your drink of choice? Almaretto Sour!

What are your three favorite albums? Anything by Janet Jackson!

If you could give the 13-year-old you any advice whatsoever, what would it be?
Emancipate from your mama! Oh, and you shoulda waited a few more weeks before you lost your virginity!

Annabelle Blue's WTF?!

Britney madness is not over, apparently. This is disturbing. This guy is either acting, on serious drugs . . . or both. There is no way he is sane. This is VERY disturbing. Apparently, he said is something happens to Britney, he will hurt himself too and he "won't be able to go on." He says his "life will be over."

Wow. Just wow.

Also, here's something my friend Kelly sent me:


So it looks as though all my "WTFs?" are from YouTube. It doesn't necessarily have to be, and probably won't always be, but that's just the way it's happening right now. Enjoy.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Annabelle Blue's Faves

Okay, before I go on, I will just say that I will not be saying anything new about Britney's performance that has not already been said. We all know how it went. We all know what happened.

Also, I don't know about you all, but I haven't seen the VMAs in so long and now I realize why . . .they suck.

Favorite Multivitamin: GNC's Women's Ultra Mega ACTIVE. I've been taking these since I was 18 and they've never steered me wrong. I feel like shit when I don't take them.

Favorite Sweet Treat: When I was in London, I found this quaint, unassuming little deli/bakery on my way to class that had the best sandwiches and desserts. We'd stop there for lunch whenever we were in the vicinity. They made this AMAZING little chocolate/peanut butter/pie crust thing that I swore was one of the top 3 things I'd miss about London. (The fashion would probably be the first thing for me . . .) I tried to replicate this the other night for my friends . . .didn't turn out exactly how I remembered, but still delicious nonetheless. I just got peanut butter cookie mix, spread it in a 13 X 9 inch pan, melted some semi-sweet chocolate chips in the microwave and spread it over the PB cookie mix after it baked. Then I popped it in the fridge for a half hour. Next time I'll have to work out some kinks and add some graham cracker mix and then it should be good to go!

Do you have something that is YOUR fave that you'd like me to review? (I'll have to actually experience it firsthand before I recommend it.) If so, please shoot me an e-mail and tell me about it. Don't be shy!(

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Letter from the Editor

Hey guys,

Another week is done. WHOO HOO! Hope everyone enjoyed the posts this week. My personal favorite was the train-wreck post about Britney Spears. I never realized how passionate I was about her or how big of a role her image played in my life until I sat down and compiled my thoughts on the matter.

Speaking of- I can't wait to see her performance at the VMAs tonight. I'm hosting a get-together at my house to view the awards with some friends. Should be a fun time. I'm going to be taking notes in order to write my thoughts on my blog. I have so much stuff to do to prepare for my little VMA party! And I'm hung over. GRRRRRRRRRRREAT!

On Friday I resigned from my job. "Resigned" sounds so much better than "quit," right? I kind of like to say I quit though, because it's more empowering. The only thing is "quit" seems a little bit rash and ill-planned. But this was all VERY planned and not at all rash. I knew I needed to do it for my own personal happiness and piece of mind. It was miraculous, really. Afterwards, I felt SO much better. Like the stress and sadness from the past 7 months just vanished and I was like, "Wow, I can be me again."

So what's the plan now? I want to get two part time jobs while I figure shit out. I really want to get involved with music again. I realize I'm not the type of person who can just "have a job" for the money. I'm not the type of person who can NOT follow her heart and dreams. I cannot conform. Money does not equal happiness for me. I've always spoke about NYC being my ultimate destination (sidenote: I still plan on living there for at least one year) and where I wanted to be, but what the hell would I do there? I had no direction when I tried it last fall and sort of was just like, "I'll see what happens." I (barely) completed an awesome internship to build up my resume. I did what seemed smart to everyone else and kind of forgot who I was in the process. In the end, I was tired of being broke and everything was falling apart. I applied to jobs in NYC and MD to see what panned out and that's how I got my current job. I don't regret the last 8 months of my life because it has taught me many, many lessons about myself and others. My co-workers have been nothing but kind and I'm super appreciative of it all, but this isn't about them. It's about me. The old break-up adage "It's not you, it's me" is sooooo applicable to this whole situation. Now, I'm going into the unknown. And I can't fucking wait.

Writing has always been a HUGE part of my life and I will continue to write no matter what. Being paid to do it would be nice, but it's so my own personal pleasure and it's such a part of who I am that I'm not concerned with that. Besides, after being out of school for over a year and experiencing the "dumbing down" that accompanies adulthood, I'm not sure I'm as good as I used to be. This blog is a really nice exercise for me to get re-acquainted with my writing skills.

For now, I must go either go back to sleep or start planning for my party tonight. I'm going to try to cook something for my friends. Lord help us all!

Have a nice Sunday!


Friday, September 7, 2007

Annabelle Blue's FYI

Passive, Aggressive, and/or Passive-Aggressive?

I’ve been accused of being all three. I have a hard time figuring out which one fits better for me. I think everyone plays a little bit of all three for the sake of sanity, but if one of the above becomes “too” prevalent, that’s when the accusations fly and people feel the need to call you out and make you feel shitty.

I feel as though people throw out these terms very liberally. I’ve taken it upon myself to research the exact definition and provide examples of each.


Definition: 1.) Accepting or submitting without objection or resistance; submissive. 2.) Relating to or characteristic of an inactive or submissive role in a relationship, especially a sexual relationship.

Example: Your friends really hate someone you actually kind of like for no reason other than it's fun. Instead of saying stuff like "I don't think she's so bad!" or "I kind of like her . . .", you say nothing and kind of go along with everyone else because you don't know want the drama and who really cares anyway? You'd rather just go along with the ride.

Reality: Maybe you really JUST DON'T WANT THE DRAMA. Why is it worth it?


Definition: 1.) Inclined to behave in an actively hostile fashion. 2.) Marked by boldness and assertiveness. (I like this definition MUCH better.)

Example: A friend says something that really offends you and you speak up and say so. Her reaction: "I'm afraid to tell you things because you're too aggressive!"

Reality: This happened to me recently. After much thought, I've come upon the conclusion that maybe it's okay for everyone else to be aggressive in telling you you're being aggressive, but to actually BE aggressive? That's not right.


Definition: This one was harder to define. Basically, it seems as though I’m the storybook case of passive-aggressiveness, but so are most people that I know. Here are some typical traits:

• Ambiguity
• Avoiding responsibility by claiming forgetfulness
• Blaming others
• Chronic lateness and forgetfulness
• Complaining
• Does not express hostility or anger openly
• Fear of authority
• Fear of competition
• Fear of dependency
• Fear of intimacy
• Fosters chaos
• Intentional inefficiency
• Making Excuses
• Lying
• Obstructionism
• Procrastination
• Resentment
• Resists suggestions from others
• Sarcasm
• Stubbornness
• Sullenness

Example: Well, HELLO! Obviously we're ALL passive-aggressive. Just look at yourself. You're passive-aggressive.

Verdict: This is all BS. I think it takes work to be assertive without being aggressive, passive without being submissive, and passive-aggressive without being underhanded. We're all in the same boat and it's hard as hell, but I feel like labeling other people all the time is a little much. I just don't understand how us girls are supposed to "be" in this world. Why in the hell can't we just say and do what we feel without being judged by everyone - mainly each other?

Why do we call each other a bitch for speaking our minds? Why are we so afraid of the truth? Why are we so afraid of not being "PC"? What is the big deal? What is the point?

I often wonder if people are intimidated or "afraid" of me because I'm too black, too tall, too loud, too honest, too assertive, too confident, etc?

I don't know what the point of this post is except that I find it incredibly hypocritical and ignorant when people throw around these terms. It's like, maybe these are coping mechanisms to deal with how messed up you can be. I'm done with judgmental and aggressive "friends" accusing me of being the same things that they are. Deal with it or don't.

My rant's done. I'm a little bit of an angry chick sometimes. My Mars is in Scorpio. If you don't know what that means, look it up. :)

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Trés Belle Girl of the Week

I've had the pleasure of knowing Liesje since middle school. I love how she has something in mind and she goes for it. I love that she took hip-hop/salsa lessons for no other reason than she wanted to. I love how she's well-traveled, but neither elitist nor pretentious. I love how she doesn't care about what anyone else thinks. I'm so glad to have gotten to know her better since we all came back home from our various post-college pursuits in January.

Let's meet Liesje . . .

Name: Liesje Sandler

Age: 23

Where's your favorite place to be?
Somewhere I've never been. Or in my bed, depending on my mood and level of sleep deprivation at that moment.

What do you think is beautiful?
The world! Ok, probably too broad. But I do think the diversity of attitudes, cultures, and forms of artistic expression that you can find in this world is a beautiful thing. I wish there was some way I could capture the energy from all of the colors, flavors, textures, and sounds into a bottle.

Are you living your dream? If so, how? If not, what are you doing to reach it? I don't think I can say that I'm living my dream right now so much as working toward it. Everything I'm doing now with work and school, I'm doing because I think it will help me reach my dream life.

If money weren't an issue, how would you live your life? I would definitely spend a lot more time traveling, particularly doing international volunteer work. I'd also pursue more of my whims, like, say, taking painting classes one day and learning to play the drums the next. Other than that, I think I'd be doing pretty much the same things I do now, because despite my complaints, I do find them fulfilling. I'd definitely buy more shoes.

Describe your favorite outfit? I don't have a specific favorite, but in general it would be something that included at least one very bold color or pattern, a funky pair of shoes, and some obnoxiously conspicuous piece of jewelry. I like things with polka dots.

What's your favorite word? "Esoteric". And "fuck".

What makes you unique? I'm willing to go pretty much anywhere in search of a new experience. I don't regret things I've done in the past, even if I'm well aware that they were stupid, pointless, or unhealthy, because everything I've done in the past forms a little piece of who I am now. My only exception to this is that I do regret the times in the past that I've hurt people. And I remember those things forever-seriously.

I give people the benefit of the doubt at first, so I often find myself defending the motives of people I don't know. If they prove themselves undeserving of that courtesy, that becomes another story.

What's your drink of choice? Pisco sour.

What are your three favorite albums? Wow, that's a hard one. And if you ask me next week, my answers will probably change. Right now: "Cuando los ángeles lloran" by Maná, "Limón y sal" by Julieta Venegas and "Sympathique" by Pink Martini.

If you could give the 13-year-old you any advice whatsoever, what would it be?
You are not an adult, trust me. One day you will be one, and at that point it will be a total surprise to you. Also, the vast majority of what is going on in your life right now, you will have completely forgotten about in 10 years without even having done any drugs. One day, there will be some people who actually think you're cool, and you don't need to change yourself to make that happen, just be yourself. Oh yeah, and try harder in math class so you're not mathematically incompetent when you're 23.

- - -

You're beautiful.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Annabelle Blue's WTF?

Since I'm on a Britney kick, here's a disturbing video of her talking about life and time travel.

Okay . . . WTF?!?!?!

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Annabelle Blue's Faves: A Britney Spears Special Presentation

Fave Trainwreck: I despise Paris Hilton. There's little to nothing redeeming about her in my book. Lindsay Lohan . . .meh. Boring. Nicole Richie . . .who cares. Britney Spears? Fascinating.

Let's go back to the beginning. I first heard Britney Spears' "Baby One More Time" at a friend's birthday party in October 1998. I couldn't believe that everyone kept playing the song over and over again. I thought it was a joke. I remember saying, "She's a one-hit wonder. Let's see how long she lasts."

Well, I'm an idiot or, at the very least, I have different tastes in music than my peers. Still, I did buy her first album just like all my friends. I did listen to it in my room and dance around like her, just like everyone else. And I did believe she had it all, just like everyone else. She was everything I was supposed to be at age 14 . . .fun, pretty, popular, sexy (at least to boys my age), and innocent.

Then the breast implants rumor started. We all wanted to believe they were just rumors, but her boobs got HUGE. Even at the gullible and know-it-all age of 14, we all knew that 17 was WAY too young to get breast implants and she'd have to have crazy parents if they allowed their daughter to get breast implants. We weren't even allowed to stay out past eleven o'clock.

And then the cover of Rolling Stone came and, while standing in Wal-Mart during the Spring of 1999, I knew then that Britney Spears was a train wreck. Even I, Miss Chubby Awkward Girl, knew that that wasn't normal. Jumping around in a bra and hot pants that said "baby" on your ass, with your baby sister riding a tricycle behind you, was NOT normal. In fact, I knew something was terribly wrong with her. I knew that she could only go so far with such overt displays.

There were other clues, too. The time she accidentally left her mic on backstage and got caught cursing at people because her backing track was off. Or that one of my classmates who was OBSESSED with Justin Timberlake found out that Justin and Britney were sharing a HOTEL ROOM together in Baltimore. This was even before she admitted a relationship with him and years before she'd admit that she wasn't a virgin. (Haha!)

I did see Britney Spears in concert during the "Oops! I Did It Again . . ." era. It was not very memorable except for her silver low-riding pants that lovingly displayed her love-handles over the sides. I walked away thinking, "God, I could so do what she did on stage. Big deal."

Another telling indication of her approaching meltdown was the song and music video "Lucky." It's about having it all and still crying at night. Feeling empty. Granted, the girl probably didn't write it, but it was right on. The writer predicted it themselves. There's a part where she sings:

"Lost in an image, in a dream
But there's no one there to wake her up
And the world keeps spinning
And she keeps on winning
But tell me, what happens when it stops?"

(Cut to April 2007. While driving home from the bar with friends one night, that song came on and we all shouted after the aforementioned verse: "You shave your head bald and flash the world!")

Other clues of her impending insanity vary. There's the orgy in the "Slave 4 U" video. I also watched her Diary on MTV and was alarmed (and slightly comforted) to see her freaking out about eating a piece of chocolate cake and being coaxed by her mother, who said: "It's okay to eat cake!" I also remember her trying on a pair of boots that were too small and wouldn't go around her calfs and one of her people shouting: "It's okay! Britney, you're not fat!" (Eating disorder, anyone? Binging and purging? Not accusing, just saying.)

Then there were other small things. Justin admitting they had sex. Fred Durst saying he hit it and describing the encounter in vivid detail. Her quickie marriage in Las Vegas. Her taking time off after her parent's split. Her bursting in tears and having a breakdown on 20/20. (I just wanted to give her a big hug at that point. My maternal instincts kicked in.)

And then there were the barefoot public bathroom visits and Kevin Federline.

Everyone knows the rest. When she dumped Kevin Federline, everyone was ecstatic. Finally, we thought, she's on her way back! Then Paris Hilton came along . . .

I was mesmerized by her vagina. It wasn't so much the vagina itself that mesmerized me, as it was that this is what's it's come to. This is how desperate Britney Spears is. If this wasn't an act of intentional desperation, it's just the result of severe drunken depression. This has gone too far. And I called it back then when I saw the Rolling Stone cover. I knew it. Sex sells and that's what she knows. Without it, what is she? I don't know which is worse- her being completely aware of what she's doing or being completely oblivious to it all.

While staring at her vagina on my computer screen, I remember thinking: "This is what we all wanted to be? This is who we all loved and adored? This is who I wished I was because all the boys wanted to make out with her and all the girls wanted to be friends her? This was the big secret. Her vagina, which all us girls have . . .this is what makes her so special? That's it? Here's our Pop Princess. She's just like every other woman in the whole entire world. Here's her vagina."

And here we are right now. She's a mother to two little boys. She smokes in front of them. She drinks. She probably does drugs. She's lonely. She's sad. She shaved her head.

The way Britney turned out makes me feel conflicted. In a sense, I'm relieved. I've had mental breakdowns and I've made mistakes and I think my life sucks and I'm not Britney Spears. I wasn't the hottest teenage girl in the world, nor do I have millions of dollars and she ended up WORSE than me. At least I had awkward teenage years that made me stronger and smarter. At least I made lasting friendships. At least I trust my family. This makes me feel better.

I'm also sad for her. Britney Spears made me happy and carefree when she performed. She's never done anything to make me dislike her. She seems smarter, more caring, more accessible than her counterparts. She's a true entertainer. Even though we've seen it all from her (literally), she's still an enigma. We're still fascinated by her.

Chuck Klosterman, my favorite music journalist, interviewed her long ago and said that her Southern accent was fake and she seemed very calculated. He says she's smarter than we think and I agree. There are her funny and astute observations about people and things, which she covers up with ditzi-ness and obliviousness once people start to catch on. Maybe she is tricking us all. Maybe she'll get the last laugh.

So her new single "Gimme More" came out last week. And it's not terrible. Her singing isn't exactly great, but I feel more comfortable criticizing her vocals rather than her existence as a human being. This is how it all started. I'm rooting for her, even though it all seems in vain. I was wrong about her before, when I thought she was a one-hit wonder nearly a decade ago at my friend's birthday party. Please make me be wrong again.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Letter from the Editor

Hi beautiful people!

Yes, that's my foot. No, it's not real.

So another week is done. For the most part, I feel as though I have this blog stuff down and I know the direction that I want this to go. That being said, I think I'm going to hold off on the fictional aspect of this blog. I'm not creatively writing as much I'd like to (or at all . . .), so I think I'll have to put that on the shelf for now. Don't go all suicidal on me because of this.

Again, thanks for the positive feedback from everyone. This is all just so random, but so necessary for me. I forgot how much fun writing random stuff can be. My old college roommate referred to my blog as "reassuring." I guess everyone can be reassured that I'm still as quirky and silly and completely nerdy as ever. And you all can also rest assured that I don't anticipate that changing . . .ever.

In other news, I am breaking out all on my chin. WTF is up with that? I'm twenty-effing-three years old! I love popping pimples as much as the next guy and have lamented the fact that I don't get the opportunity as often as I did during my teenage years, but I forgot how embarrassing acne can be. Like, last night I was at a party and was all self-concscious and kept drinking just so I could cover my chin with a cup while conversing with strangers. There's nothing worse that realizing someone is concentrating on your imperfections rather than what you're saying, right? But it's hard! I often look at people's pimples when I'm talking to them and not because I'm some superficial bitch(?), but just because I do. It's rude and I know it, hence why I hate when people do it to me. That's why I cover them up with cups of alcohol at parties. ☺

Also, yesterday after yoga class, I was backing out of my parking space and my car collided with this other woman's car from class. I'm hesitant to even blog about it because my insurance company has to do this investigation or whatever, so who knows if they'll somehow come across this blog and use it against me. (Paranoid much?) Either way, my brand new car's rear bumper is f*cked. Totally ruined my zen. Isn't it always like that, though? You're feeling GREAT and excited about feeling great and then something happens to put a dent (pardon the pun) to such feelings of greatness? Oh well.

Have an awesome rest of this Labor Day weekend, everyone. Soak up the last bit of summer and sun. I know I will. Margaritas tonight for sure.


PS- I almost forgot about Britney's new single! I'll post about the beautiful disaster that is Britney Spears later this week. HOLLA!