Thursday, June 19, 2008

Full

My boyfriend is always telling me how refreshing it is that I eat. Like it's something unique that not many women do. It makes me happy that he likes how I stuff my face around him. He thinks having an appetite is sexy. He thinks watching me eat is sexy. It's hot to him. He likes it. He thinks I'm sexy.

Who'd have ever thought the bigger girl, the chubby girl, the "fat" girl would be such a turn on?

He's always hungry and eats more than anyone I know . . .and he's skinnier than anyone I know. It's refreshing to be around him.

He's not the first guy who has thought eating was good, that I was good, that they thought I was fine the way I am . . .but he actually LIKES it.

He likes that I don't really care about my body being perfect, but at the same time, I'm healthy. I workout. I try not to eat too horribly. I care about being healthy, not about being skinny.

I tell him I'd rather be 10-20 pounds overweight, happy and showing signs of having indulged in good food and a good life than be super skinny and starved . . .

I'm full.

I'm full of a lot of different things, depending on who you ask. But, I'm full.

"You don't have to be all little and petite to be beautiful," he says. And I'm not, but I am.

I will always remember his words and tell girls (and my future daughter down the road) about what he thinks when they ask about attracting a boy. I'll tell them what it's about. About being happy in their own skin. About not living up to some ridiculous ideal of beauty that floats around like an airborne sickness.

Yes, I'm full.

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