Thursday, November 20, 2008

I've been in a lazy mood.

Hi beautiful people,

I am writing to you from my bed. I have been in and out of it since about one or two this afternoon. I've been spending most of my time watching "Doctor Who". I am addicted to it thanks to the boy. He let me borrow one series (or season in the States) of it that he got from his first mate. It's a British television show about time travel. It's really adventurous, campy, and smart. I miss London. My adventures there (about three years ago now!) were timeless. I still wear a lot of the clothes I bought while I was there. I always have a part of that place with me.

I've been a little lazy lately. I have been working out somewhat regularly and trying not to be too much of a pig, but other than that, I've been more than happy to sit on my ass watching television. I'm not even reading that much right now. I just don't feel like it.

I am still on the hunt for a part-time or full-time job to supplement my income. Mainly just to pay bills. I have no interest in starting a "career" here. After interviewing for the job in NYC (which I still haven't heard back from!I might not until after the Holidays!), I realize how badly I want to work there. I really want to work more in the music industry. I will always have writing, you know? I don't know. Talking to some of my friends who aren't broke, who are advancing in their careers and what not, makes me feel really shitty. Envious, even. I wish I was financially in great shape to buy "extras" and to comfortably cover my overhead at the least. I don't even have that. I mean, I'm happy. I love my part-time job I have no at the Club, but it just ain't paying the bills. Why does this have to be so hard?

At least I can justify sitting on my ass and playing on my computer because I'm not spending any money. :)

Yesterday I spent some time at the library doing research. I had an epiphany. It's this weird energy that I get when I'm there amongst books sometimes. It's like they are things that people have filled with special thoughts and information that they want the world to see and it affects me. I know I sound like a looney chick, but I just get positive energy from libraries.

ANYWAY- so here's what I jotted down:

"I have this baby inside of me that has been waiting to be birthed for some time. Before I wanted to be a famous rockstar even. (I've always thought performing on stage is my dream, and I still do, but I haven't done so in YEARS!) I want to represent women and girls, give them hope, let them love themselves, live better lives. I can't explain it. I see it. I feel it. I just need it to come to fruition. I'm open and I recieve it. 11/19/08"

Blah. It sucks not knowing the next step.

Well, I'm off to continue watching "Doctor Who". Until next time . . .


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