Predictably, I have, of course, not moved forward with the new blog direction. I've been so busy and reconsidering everything altogether. With the blog, that is . . .
I like my new internship/assistantship in book publishing. I'm learning so much and it feels fun and easy to me. It's such a great feeling to be making money (however little) doing something I actually enjoy. I am going to apply to book publishing jobs in NYC in a few months. I've applied to a few literary agent jobs yesterday and haven't heard back yet. Whatevs.
At this point, I wish I could say I had a set plan pertaining to what I want to do with my life. The truth is I'm just having fun and trying new things. It isn't easy, but I feel like I don't have the option to be unhappy. I kind of made a promise to myself that I'll never let myself feel defeated and helpless if I can help it . . . and usually I can. That's what life is about.
I need to stop talking shit about people and thinking the world is against me. I'm constantly on the defensive and it's hard to keep that act up. I don't know what is with me lately. Maybe it's the Pill, maybe it's stress and maybe it's a little bit of both. I don't know.
In other news, I want to not give a shit about the scale. It sucks. I need to get to a place where I don't care. I think I don't and then I do. The up and down is enough to drive a sane girl mad. And aren't we all a little mad?