Saturday, November 3, 2007


Never have I ever been warned, questioned and harassed about buying a CD more than I was when I purchased Britney's new album. People laughed at me. My friends questioned my sanity. The cashier said: "No refunds!" What the hell? I asked him if he usually warns purchasers about refunds and he said, "No, but for that CD . . .yeah!"

So, I'm perplexed. Her albums have always been pretty much devoid of personality and basically entertainment's equivalent to junk food. There was nothing nutritional about it, but it served it's purpose once and a while and tasted good- even it was completely synthetic. But, NOW, when she's actually unabashedly what she is- no pretenses and, although she still she doesn't write her shit, it's more personal and autobiographical and we pretty much know what she's about (sex, drugs and no panties) . . .why is it NOW that everyone is making it about the music? Why are we suddenly paying attention and evaluating the "quality" of her music? When we knew nothing about her, except that she was pretty and "perfect," and she made SHITTY albums (only 1 or 2 songs on her albums were ever worth listening to), everyone bought her music. No one questioned me and I sure as hell wasn't warned by everyone not to buy her music. (Nevermind the personal battle I fought within when I bought the other two Britney albums that I own.)

Hell, "Blackout" is a good dance album. I like Britney more now that she's crazy. I can appreciate her music more. In reality, now that I know more about her, she seems more mysterious . . .and more fun.

If her aim on this new album is to get me to move my ass ("Freakshow") , grind on the boy next to me ("Gimme More", "Radar"), fall in love ("Heaven on Earth") and then dump his ass when he starts disrespecting me and/or I get tired of him ("Toy Solider", "Why Should I be Sad?"), her goal is accomplished.

That isn't to say that this album is perfect, but none of the songs are HORRIBLE. At worst, they are generic and redundant. I could do without "Break the Ice", "Get Naked", "Ooh Ooh Baby" and "Perfect Lover." Those four songs aren't horrible, but there's nothing terribly special about them.

"Piece of Me" is her take on the paparazzi. "Radar" is "Toxic" Part 2, and that isn't a bad thing. "Heaven on Earth" is very Kylie/Madonna . . .and uncomfortably delicious. "Freakshow" is very, very cool and futuristic. (It's one of my favorite tracks.) "Toy Solider" reminds me of my favorite "Destiny Child" song, "Solider" mixed with a little Gwen. And "Why Should I Be Sad" is produced by Pharell and it's a strong track that shows the emoitional (or unemotional) side of Britney's breakup with Kevin.

Overall, I'd say this album is Britney's best album by far. She admits to being a lush and favoring nakedness. Finally. And I will glady make copies for anyone who wants one so you don't have to be embarassed enough to go to the store to buy it and be a part of the Spanish Inquisition upon doing so.

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