I'm needy. And one guy called me so in a passive-aggressive way, but only, I didn't really "need" him. I just felt sorry and guilty for rejecting him, so I started putting extra effort in our friendship. Then he acted all weird.
But, cut to this morning, I'm hung-over and went to bed sort of angry and alone last night and woke up wondering why the hell I was so affected by last night. I'll say it again: I'm needy. I become even more so after being tipsy.
I can't even go into the whole story or how I thought things were going and why they stopped, but I will say this: I'm utterly and completely sick of needing the unavailable and immature BOYS who do not seem to get it. And by "get it," I don't necessarily only mean me, I mean life.
I don't care if you're 30 years old, you're still a boy. I may "only" be 23, but I'm a woman.
I thought going after an older guy would be easier, because they know what the want, right? Wrong. Boys are boys, no matter their age. A man is a man, no matter his age.
I like challenges. I like winning the prize. It's a lonely habit I have because the "prize" is almost never worth the effort.
And also, one person can't do it on their own. Be a man about it. I've decided I want a man now. That's it. No more boys. I'll leave them for the girls. I'm not going to run away from the good MEN anymore. I've done it before because it's more exciting to have drama, but you know what? DRAMA IS FUCKING BORING NOW.
Going to work is going to be a little less exciting after these developments, but I'll survive.
Ugh. Sometimes I think my love life and experiences with men is just one big joke for "God," or whoever it is that runs this place, to laugh at. Well hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha.