Tuesday, October 2, 2007

My Single Step . . .

Right now, it's 10:40am and I'm in bed. I just spent the last hour or so checking up on celebrity blogs (Britney lost custody of her kids!), looking for part-time jobs on Craigslist (Meh . . .) and reading about Radiohead's decision to release their next album on their website for "free." ( Radiohead Says: Pay What You Want) Smart boys! It's true, the need for a record label for more established acts is pretty much extinct nowadays. Up and coming artists are the only ones who may need record labels to finance, market and help with their distribution until they establish themselves, but once they have all that, as Radiohead have obviously done, do they need labels? I think not.

So this is my life without a full-time job. I have to go to work tonight, but today . . .nothing. I have some vague plans to go return some jeans at Express that I've been putting off for weeks. I also need to get a new planner . . .but that's it. I knew quitting my job might be boring and a bit lonely, but I was prepared for it. It's just kind of hard finding stuff to do to fill the hours I spent behind a desk doing work I couldn't have cared less about.

On Friday, my supervisor planned a "going away" lunch for me. It was a little bizarre to be celebrating my quitting my first "real" job. I was careful to not be too excited, but also very appreciative. It was nice to know people cared about me . . .however awkward I felt. I really didn't want to make a big issue of me leaving the company, partly because I have no idea what I'm doing. I have to keep reminding myself that everything will be okay, but in all seriousness, I'm scared. I have chosen to take the "not-so-safe" route and it was a conscious decision, but it doesn't mean I'm not freaked out by it. I know you only live once, I know you're only young once and I knew that I didn't want to spend my early 20s- the time I'm ALLOWED to make mistakes and be young and stupid - not making mistakes and being young and stupid. I'm too young not to follow my dreams and go for what I truly want. I have time to settle later. Now is not the time.

I remember visiting my brother in West Virginia earlier this year where he was a weekend sports newscaster with an NBC affiliate. It was in a boring, small, run-down town and he was broke . . .but he seemed happy. He was moving toward his dream of being on ESPN. Just being around him and his young co-workers, who were all having fun, even though they might hate WHERE they were . . .it made me realize that I was missing out and that I couldn't just float through a job for the money. I had to have purpose, passion and persistence.

So what am I working towards? Well, right now I'm blogging in bed, but eventually . . .

The truth is, I'm not entirely sure where this is all going. When I tell people that I am working at 9:30 Club, it undoubtedly freaks them out. They think, "What the hell are you doing?" I'm getting paid basically nothing and working until the wee hours in the morning in a shady part of Washington, DC, but guess what? I'm happy and it feels right.

Although I don't know where I'm going exactly, I know I'm getting there one step at a time. And as my favorite ancient Chinese proverb says:

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step."

Now, excuse me, I have to go kill some brain cells by seeing who is going to be on "The View" today . . .

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