Sometimes a girl just needs to make mistakes . . .but if the mistakes take control of you, that's when you know it's time to stop. It's time to take control back. It's time for a re-evaluation.
My latest love interest is completely emotionally unavailable and apparently, isn't that into me. Whatever. I've learned I cannot waste my time with someone who isn't into me. There's no point. I hope he has a nice, functional life. So now I'm playing it cool. I've forgotten about the kisses, the embraces, the whatever the hell else happened. It means nothing. It meant nothing to him then and it means nothing to me now.
It's just that easy. (Side note: He still flirts with me and shit. I have to tell him to stop. Somehow it seems like he's more attracted to me now that I've "gotten over" him. WTF!?)
I guess I was never that into him either. From day one, I said he's like a brick wall. He's so fucking emotionally unavailable that it's sad. I've known it since our first real conversation, but somehow I thought I could change him. Even other people thought I'd be the one to change him.
HAHA! GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!
So, when have you ever heard of an unavailable, dangerously independent, and scared man changing because of a girl? It doesn't happen. My mom stayed married to a man for 20 years in hopes that she'd change him and guess what? SHE DIDN'T! And guess what else? He's my dad!
A person has to change because they want to and it has to be on their own terms. Sure, maybe the latest guy I was into just needs "the right girl," but any self-respecting girl will not stick around and be pushed away.
And if said girl is lucky, the guy will just run away anyway.
I have dealt with SO MANY guys and in so many different situations. I'm no longer jaded. My guard is up. I feel like a wise woman. I know when it's time to let go, but sometimes I still make mistakes. Sometimes I (stupidly) put myself in situations that are way beneath me.
But I learn and grow from them. I get hurt and then I get better. That's how life goes. There's no big mystery to it.
And for the record, can I just say I'm WAY OVER unavailable men. There is nothing ~*~*~*mysterious*~*~ or ~*~*~*alluring*~*~*~ about them. So over it.
So, ladies, here are deal breakers:
1.) He has a girlfriend. (DON'T EVEN LOOK TWICE!)
2.) He is always on his computer. (ESPECIALLY IF HE'S ALWAYS ON MYSPACE! MAJOR RED FLAG!)
3.) He smokes weed all the time. (Unless you smoke all the time too, I don't see this working.)
4.) He doesn't call you. (DUH!)
5.) He stands you up. (PROBABLY BECAUSE HE'S ON MYSPACE.)
6.) He makes you feel stupid.
7.) He only pays attention to you when he's drunk.
8.) He tries to wine and dine you. (WHAT IS HE HIDING?)
9.) He doesn't have ambition. (NO LIFE PLAN. NO CAREER GOALS. NO THOUGHTS ABOUT THE FUTURE. WELL OBVIOUSLY YOU'RE NOT IN HIS FUTURE EITHER . . .HOPEFULLY.)
10.) He is 38 years old and you're 23. And he's your boss. And he has a girlfriend. And he makes you feel uncomfortable. And he asks you if you sleep naked or with pajamas. And he keeps harassing you about your lack of a boyfriend. (HE WANTS TO MANIPULATE YOU. HE WANTS TO RELIVE HIS YOUTH. WHY CAN'T HE FIND A WOMAN HIS OWN AGE? HE IS GROSS!)
That's all for now.